Arlena: The Battle Continues

Arlena paid for her coffee and bacon.  She climbed into the Tahoe.  The girls were laying down and she could hear them sigh as they started down the road.  Her cell phone rang.  "Hello?"  "Momma?"  It was her daughter.  "Hi Baby.  How are you?" 

"I'm good.  Where are you?"  Arlena tried to remember the last mileage sign she saw.  "I think I'm in Colorado."  Liz laughed.  "You can't remember the last sign can you?"

Arlena laughed, "No.  You know I don't pay a lot of attention when I'm listening to music."  She passed a mile marker that said "85".  "Ah mile marker 85."  Another joke.  Liz laughed.  They got silent for a moment.  "Momma you know you can come here and live.  The offer still stands."  Arlena swallowed the lump in her throat.  "I'll be there before you have my grand babies, but I need some time alone." 

Liz grinned, "You're never alone Mom.  You have the three musketeers with you."  Arlena chuckled.  "I know.  Is Adam at the rig?"

Liz shifted in the chair trying to get comfortable.  Her belly huge with the twins she was carrying.  "Yep.  He will be home in another week."  Arlena pulled into a gas station.  "Okay.  I'll call you when we stop tonight.  The girls need a break from being in the car.  How's the weather up there?"

"Nice.  No snow yet.  Shouldn't be here for another four weeks or so." 
"Okay baby.  I love you.  See you soon."
"Bye Momma."  Arlena hung up.  Her daughter and son in law had moved to a remote area of Wyoming a year ago so they could spend more time together.  Adam's rig was still a couple of hours away, but it was better than a plane ride.

Arlena filled the Tahoe and went inside.  There was an old man behind the counter.  "Hello ma'am."  Arlena smiled, "Hi.  Is there a cafe or a diner around here?"

The old man nodded.  "Just up the road a bit on the right.  Irene has the best cornbread around."  Arlena giggled.  "Sounds good.  Thanks."

The old man said, "It being Wednesday night, they'll be having dinner at the church for anyone interested."  Her smile faded some, but she muttered, "Thank you."  She climbed in to the truck and "Church" came from her lips.  Her thoughts went back to the town she left.  She'd had a church home, many friends, lots of good happened there.  They had stood by her through a lot.  She had gone through recovery with them, survived financial hardships and then God delivered a blow she couldn't get up from.  He had taken Jackson.  The one true love of her life.  A tear slipped from her eyes and she cranked the truck and headed off. 

True to the man's word, the diner was just about five miles down the road.  She parked as close to grassy area as she could.  She put Dixie and George on a double leash and started walking them around.  They rolled in the cool grass.  Arlena kept glancing at the truck.  Sioux was sitting patiently waiting her turn.  It took all of Arlena's strength and both hands on the harness to walk Sioux.  Part of the Mastiff family, she wasn't a 200 pound dog, but she did weigh as much as Arlena.  The girls came back and sat at Arlena's feet waiting to be petted and for a drink.  She walked back to the Tahoe and took a bowl down and poured them some water.  Sioux whined.  "Just a minute girl.  Your sisters are almost done." 

Dixie and George got back in and just as she was getting Sioux her cell phone rang.  No caller id.  She pushed the talk button, "Hello?" 

"I'm looking for Jackson Montgomery."  Arlena swallowed.  "Who is this?"
The man coughed.  "My name is Ezekiel James.  I met him a few years ago.  This number was listed with information."  Arlena wiped a way a tear.  "I'm sorry Mr. James.  Jackson died about seven months ago.  You're too late." 

"Are you his wife?"
"Yes I was, am.. whatever."
"Then I guess I need to talk to you."
"Look I don't know what business you had with my husband but I'm sort of busy right now.  This is my cell phone.  I'm on my way to Wyoming, and I need..."
"Wyoming, really?  That's where I live."

Arlena stopped.  Sioux whined.  "Look I really am busy.  I need to walk my dog.  Call me some time tomorrow."  She disconnected the call.  Arlena took Sioux out and fastened the safety chain to her belt and took Sioux's harness.  As they walked Arlena's thoughts ran to the conversation she had with the gentleman.  When had Jackson been to Wyoming?  They had never been apart more than two days and he would have said something to her.  Obviously the man had the wrong Jackson Montgomery.

Arlena focused as much as she could.  The sky seemed to be blurred.  Where was she?  It seemed familiar but the air seemed so thick.  A voice called her name.  "Arlena."  She turned towards the voice.  There was a man standing beside a tree.  "Who are you?"

The man moved towards her.  "Why are you doubting your faith?"  Anger filled her very being. The air began to swirl and grow dark.  "Why should I have faith in someone that took my world away?"  The darkness grew.  Suddenly another man stood beside her.  "Arlena your anger feeds my soul.  Your hatred for God pleases me." 

The first man shook his head.  "Arlena God loves you and wants you to be happy."  Tears filled her eyes.  "He took Jackson from me."  Suddenly the light grew and the man spread his wings.  "Arlena fight against the darkness.  One day you will be with Jackson again."  She screamed.  "Why did he have to die?"  Heat flew through the air and the dark man laughed.  The laugh, so sinister that Arlena gasped from the fear that hit her.  The dark man reached for Arlena and his hand had claws not fingers.  His eyes glowed red and he hissed as he laughed.  She screamed and sat upright.  Dixie laid beside her.  She rubbed her eyes.  Her heart was beating so hard in her chest.  A hymn ran through her head, but she couldn't remember the words, just the tune.  She closed her eyes and then took a drink to quench the dryness in her throat.  She slipped back under the covers and stared at the ceiling.

The Edge of Nowhere

She stood just at the edge of the great void. The sky swirled with purple, black and white and other dark colors and lightening filter through the swirls. She flexed her toes and pebbles fell off the side and she watched as they disappeared in to the great darkness of the void. She listened, waiting to hear them hit something, but there was nothing. The air hummed as the electricity passed through the air, a breeze blowing the material of her gown against her legs. Why was she brought here? Who brought her here? What did they want? She tried to call out, but her voice was lost in the noise that wasn’t really noise.

She turned to look behind her, but it was the same. No one, nothing, just the void. Was God trying to tell her something? Suddenly she could hear the swooping of wings. She glanced up and a figure approached her. Softly the being touched down behind her and the wings enveloped her, shutting out the swirling noise. She felt the security of the being. It said nothing to her so she spoke. “Why am I here?” The being put its hand on her shoulders and turned her to face it. “You asked for answers.” She shielded her eyes from the light shining from his face. “I simply asked why? I don’t understand.”
“Precisely.”
“Are you here to help me understand? Are you going to explain?”
The being realized that she was unable to look at his face, and suddenly the brightness dimmed some and she looked up. Peace filled her very being, and she spoke softly, “Show me.”

Suddenly, the air moved by quickly and then they were standing in the heat of the sand, in a land she didn’t recognize. She watched the war in front of her. Guns going off, bombs exploding, soldiers and civilians lay dying in the sand. There was yelling, and shouting and she covered her ears. Tears streamed down her face and she watched people die. Blood seeped into the sand. “Please, I want to go. I can’t watch this.”

Again she was back on the edge of the great void and the being was behind looking at her. “Why did you take me there?”
“Those people were fighting for their freedom and for yours. They were giving their life so that you have the right to your beliefs and to your freedom.”
“I know that…We see that every day on the news. We read about it in the paper, and hear about it on the radio. “
“Many years ago, someone else died so that you might live. You learned about Him. You asked Him to live in your heart many, many years ago.”
Tears filled her eyes. “Yes, and many bad things have happened to me, and I’ve done many things I’m not proud of since then.”
“It doesn’t matter. He has forgiven you. You asked many times, and each time, He hears. So why do you doubt?”
“I don’t know. I feel lost, alone, and rejected.”
“He is always with you. When you can no longer go on, He carries you. When you cry, He wipes away your tears. When you pray, He listens. Yet still you doubt.”

“I know. I don’t mean too. I want others to know His love. I want to be filled with peace, I want Him to lead me. I want to follow with out questions, but I’m fearful.”

“There is no need. Cast your burdens upon Him. Leave them at the cross. He will take them. He wants you to be happy, at peace, faithful and loving. He wants you to show others how He fills your life. He has given you many things as you have grown, but His most precious gift, is eternal life.”

“I know. I’m sorry. God please forgive me for my doubts.”

The form of the being changed and the light that shone was so bright that she fell to her knees. “You are forgiven, my child.” A hand reached down and touched her head. The feeling of love and peace was so great that she sobbed loudly.

John 12:44-50 (King James Version)
44Jesus cried and said, He that believeth on me, believeth not on me, but on him that sent me.
45And he that seeth me seeth him that sent me.
46I am come a light into the world, that whosoever believeth on me should not abide in darkness.
47And if any man hear my words, and believe not, I judge him not: for I came not to judge the world, but to save the world.
48He that rejecteth me, and receiveth not my words, hath one that judgeth him: the word that I have spoken, the same shall judge him in the last day.
49For I have not spoken of myself; but the Father which sent me, he gave me a commandment, what I should say, and what I should speak.
50And I know that his commandment is life everlasting: whatsoever I speak therefore, even as the Father said unto me, so I speak.