Fancy

That song Fancy that was originally recorded by Bobbie Gentry, and then re-recorded by Reba McIntire came to mind as she watch the roach crawl across the cabinet.  Her new hobby was torturing them every time she saw one.  Sad, but true... she hated where they had wound up and she wanted nothing more than to have her high stress, mediocre paying job that was two hours drive time one way, back...  Well maybe not, but she didn't want this.. That was for sure..

What did she want?  To enjoy life more than anything and right now all she did was worry.  Worry about things she couldn't really control, not where they were currently living.  She stood looking out the window and sipping the steaming cup of hot coffee.  What did she like to do these days?  Nothing it seemed, because it all came back to how could she earn money.  Nothing was fun anymore.  She used to love to write, but now all she did was ghostwrite for pennies.  Her stuff never had her name on it.  She loved dogs, but all she had now were her pets.  Her beagles were gone.  Her best friend was gone. 

Her friends lived at least an hour a way or farther.  She didn't really have any close friends where she lived.  Her daughter, one sister, a niece and a nephew on her side lived close, but that was it.  She traded emails with a few friends, but no one called.  That was probably her fault.  She had lost all joy and happiness from her life.  The joy was back, she had turned back to God, and it was almost as if she had been saved all over again.  She walked on clouds for months, and then something happened.  She lost the happiness or maybe she was just a little sad. 

Her destiny was hers by choice.  She didn't regret most of the choices she had made, but she might have waiting on one if she had known how hard things were going to be without the income.  However, the stress was taking its toll and she probably would have had a stroke or a heart attack if she had stayed.  So what was in their future? 

She dreamed of a house with no roaches, floors that were solid and didn't give when you walked.  She dreamed of a nice big yard fenced so her big dog could run without fear.  She dreamed of room to have any kind of animal or as many dogs as she could afford to feed.  She dreamed of getting her teaching degree and teaching kids.  She had experienced that for a couple of months and it had renewed a dream from her past of being a teacher, now she wanted that again.  She wanted to hold a newborn pup in her hand and smell the puppy breath.  She wanted to run and play with the dogs, and she wanted to be noticed for her writing, not for someone else to take the credit. 

So today as she stood, looking out the window, she made her mind up, no matter what, or what it took, this year was going to be different.  No more struggling to make ends meet, to pay bills or avoid answering the phone.  Today started a new direction, and that was one of making her dreams come true.  It was writing, sharing her stories, and telling about God, and what He had done in her life.  It was using her talents to help others.  It was living life with no more regrets. 

She refilled her coffee cup, smiled, smacked the roach... and headed towards the computer room. 

Gift From God

We are all given specific talents or gifts by God.  Writing is the one He bestowed upon me. 

My dream is to write a book with a Christian basic plot, and have it published.  I want to find a Christian website to write for and share my views. 

I believe that this is the path that God has in store for me and when the time is right (write) He will open that door. 

I am working on two short stories and I am thinking about taking my book Scattered Thoughts and adding to it to make it a devotional or a non-fiction book with Christian scriptures on where to go for specific topics or what scriptures to read for help in certain areas. 

We build our faith by learning the Word of God.  If I can write a book to help someone find the scriptures or learn to lean on the Word for help, that is what I want to do. 

I know I haven't been on this site for awhile, but life is kind of unpredictable right now.  Keep tuning in and eventually I will have something new posted. 

God Bless!

L

Scattered Thoughts: A Glimpse inside my soul

The title to this blog is actually the title to a little book I wrote last October.  I really believed in what I wrote and felt very strongly about it.  A lot has happened in my life since last year, and I recently pulled the book out and started reading it again.  It is very dark in places and very cold in others.  It does represent what my soul was like that year, and not just in October but for the whole year of 2009.  So much has changed inside me this year, that I've decided to re-write the book.  I'm probably going to leave the individual articles I wrote, but I'm going to include some things that were happening then and are still very much around, but I'm learning to deal with them, and life, and my soul is much happier and a lot lighter. 

You never realize how things affect your life until you go back and look at things.  If you read any of my other blogs, you will know that I'm going to a group called, "Celebrate Recovery."  Now I know what you are thinking, but this is to help people recover from all kinds of things in life.  For example, if you have lost a loved one, or you have been sexually assaulted, molested, or have an addiction, yes that is covered too.  But its not just those things.... It's life in general.  The economy, the mentality, the spirituality, and the emotional status of this world can make people feel useless, unworthy, not to be too trusting, and afraid.  Afraid of losing everything they own and have in their lives.... and this group is there to help.  You're accepted no matter what the circumstances. 

So here's the deal, I'm going to re-write the book and add to it and then it will be available on my website, www.madamescrawlersink.net, along with other things for purchase. 

I will let everyone know when it is there and I invite you to take a look.....  Thanks for being fans, and I'm working on several books, including Lillian Magnus... so please stay tuned.....

God Bless you all!